Was Sonic the Hedgehog Ever Cool?
Not a rhetorical question
Nowadays, Sonic the Hedgehog is often portrayed as an obnoxious, hyperactive child, but in the early 1990s, he was the epitome of cool. He was mysterious, edgy. He looked right into your soul and dared you to cross him. But why would you want to? You want to be his best friend, even when you know he’s just using you. He’s the hero who doesn’t need anyone - until he does, and it’s too late. One friend leads to another leads to another. Next thing you know, he’s got an entourage big enough to fill several tour buses.
By the end of the 90s, Sonic got soft. He has a family now, an extended animal family with the occasional awkward human, full of hangers-on and passers-by, well-wishers and posers that want to be just like him. They might be cute as a button, but they’ll never be Sonic. Even in his current neutered state, the hedgehog is iconic, immortal. Sega could make bad games with him for the rest of time, and people would still want more. Because it’s not about where Sonic goes or who he partners with to take out Eggman. He’s a great character forever, even if modern Sega constantly lets him down.
Sonic didn’t speak until 1993, and when he did, he was voiced by Jaleel White, a.k.a. Urkel, the “Did I do that?” kid. This sounds like a recipe for disaster, but White’s voice fit somehow. He eased up the exaggerated nerd shtick and leaned into the 90s semi-rebellious teen persona, which is exactly what kids wanted. Sonic was every kid’s cool older brother who played by his own rules, but was secretly a good guy. White voiced Sonic in two cartoons that aired at the same time in 1993, followed by a third in 1999. The first, fittingly called “Sonic the Hedgehog,” was a more dramatic interpretation and it aired Saturdays on ABC. The second was titled “Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog,” an overly ridiculous, slapstick comedy that aired on Channel 18 in my town every weekday morning for at least two years. The latter also saw Long John Baldry play Robotnik; an inspired bit of casting, if ever there was.
The Sonic comics by Archie also filled out the hedgehog’s profile and were based on the Saturday morning cartoon show – sort of. Initially, the comic had all the characters from the latter show, but its tone was silly at first, with Robotnik and his goofy robots trying to capture Sonic and friends and failing every time. Eventually though, for better and for worse, the writers made the comic a more solemn affair, with protagonists getting killed or maimed by Robotnik, political intrigue, and female characters (animals who talked and walked upright) drawn more promiscuously with each passing issue. Some of the stories were interesting during the mid-to-late 90s, but the comic eventually drifted into bad fanfiction.
In the 90s, Sonic was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. He was never more popular than he was then, yet his merchandise was hard to find. I scoured Toys ‘R Us night and day for a Sonic plushie. My cousin, a fellow Sonic fan, had gotten a large plush, but admitted he had a hard time finding his. Eventually, I found a smaller version, the only one in stock. Then about a year later, on a random visit to the toy store, I found a Tails plush, two tails and everything. Amazing. Didn’t even know they made ‘em. Never saw any commercials for him. I watched a lot of TV in those days, and I would have remembered. When McDonalds came out with their Happy Meal toys for Sonic the Hedgehog 3 in early 1994, it was an event. Why did it take so long to get Sonic toys of any kind? The mind boggles. I scooped up what I could. The incredibly crappy BradyGames Sonic & Knuckles strategy guide. The Tiger handheld supposedly based on the original Sonic the Hedgehog for the Genesis. The crumbs from Sega’s banquet table.
Nowadays, you can find Sonic merchandise everywhere, but the quality isn’t there. Where’s the passion? The heart? Sonic and friends’ plushies look like anorexic shells of themselves. Their plastic molds barely resemble their likeness. Sonic is a product now, and it’s not his fault. Sega needs the cash, and they’re hitting him up. He’s a hedgehog, but he’s also a dancing monkey. Just keep smiling, Sonic, keep breaking the sound barrier, but when you come back, you better have a few dollar-sign sacks with you, filled to the brim.
Gotta go fast, even when you don’t want to. I think we can all relate to that.
*images courtesy of Reddit and Awkward Sonic Photos
With all the video game movies in the 1990s, including a live action Mario movie, I’m surprised Sonic never got one at the peak of his popularity and relevance. Well, other than that anime film…